Movie Mischeif
by Ghimpy G
Summary: Stories of mish-moshed movies and TV shows ! Very disturbing...
1. Walker Texas Power Ranger

Movie Mischeif # 1: Walker, Texas Power Ranger  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Walker Texas Ranger (too bad) or Power Rangers (Thank God).  
  
What is Movie Mischeif?  
I take two totally unrelated TV Shows or movies and splice them into a completly idiotic  
Parody-type Mel Brooks type story. Enjoy. Send comments to ghimpyg@ezclick.net !  
  
Two men with panty hose on their heads with loaded shotguns step into a bar.  
One walks up to the counter, and makes an ugly face at the cashier.  
"Give me all the honey !" said the robber.  
"Don't you mean Money ?" said the cashier.  
"Yeah. Give me all your bunnies !" he replied.  
"He's new at this." said the second robber. "Give us the green, then."  
"Sorry. I was confused. I mean..." mumbled the cashier.  
"Don't worry. You're blonde anyway." said the second robber.  
The cashier started unloading rolls of pennies into the burlap sack that they held out.   
Then, the swinging doors opened, and in stepped Chuck Norris in all of his kung-fu glory in a western. That is so   
Jackie Chan of him, isn't it ?   
Well, he beats them up, arrests them, saves the bar, gets a date with the cashier chick, what else is new ?  
I'll tell you what's new. At that big castle place in the desert, that head in a tube was talking to his hyperactive robot.  
"Ei-ei-ei-yi" screamed the robot.  
"You sound like Nelly. Is this all the sudden rapfest or something ?" replied the head.  
"No Zordon ! Ei-ei-ei ! The purple ranger just got shoted !" he screamed back.  
"Uh...what purple ranger ?"   
"Wait a minute.....Ei-ei oh !"  
"What's happening now ?"   
"Well, It's horrible ! Jenny dumped Bill because she's cheating on him with Jared ! Why ?"  
"Quit watching that soap opera ! It will melt your mind."  
"We need a new ranger, or that ugly purple dude will get his revenge !"  
"Revenge ? We should've put him in that second movie. I told you."  
All the sudden, Walker teleported from the bar and landed at the castle. They told him that stupid story about the battle for   
a thousand years, and gave him a suit for the Texas Ranger. They gave him a little beeping thing that makes him call his big robo-cowboy   
to fight all those big monsters.   
They all ran onto the battle field and that big pig guy that ate everything and that Ritardo guy (the beetle with the guitar)  
were ready for battle.  
"Oh no ! " said the Camo Ranger.  
"We need dinosaur power now !" said the Vomit Green Ranger.  
"Let's go, me laddies." said the Plaid Ranger.  
They all turned into their ranger forms. They had this big fight with all those grey guys that go "blub-bli-blub-bloo" and beat them all.  
  
In the moon base of that purple guy, he sat on the crapper looking over earth.  
"Those stupid rangers. Grrrrr...." he squealed inbetween bowel movements.  
"More monsters NOW !!!!!"  
The rangers were soon confronted with Godzilla !  
"Oh great, another monster." said the Baige Ranger.  
She put down a pet mouse that ran straight for him. It ran at the fire-breathing beast.  
"EEK ! A Rat !" said Godzilla.  
He ran of into the sunset.  
Then, the biggest monster yet appeared. MARLYN BRANDO !   
He destroyed everything with a footstep, including the Power Rangers.   
The Big Bad Beetle Borgs sat at ringside. "Yeah ! We don't get pay cuts no more !" they sqeaked.  
It was up to Walker now. He pulled out his beeping thingy and called out "Texas Ranger.....Cowboy Zord Now !"  
A giant cowboy appeared and gave Walker a joystick.  
"Ooh....I love Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots." said Walker.  
No duh, he won. He whooped MARLYN BRANDO and MARLYN BRANDO ran all the way back to Godfather Part One.  
  
Walker gave up the Ranger gig after that. He still, to this day, remembers the terrible MARLYN BRANDO.   
He also rejoices daily. Not in his victory, but in the fact that someone finally had the guts to kill the Power Rangers.  
  
THE END  
  
NEXT MONTH: What happens when Darth Vader is bitten by a vampire ? Can Buffy fly an X-Wing ?  
Do they make lightsaber stakes ? Find out next time in BUFFY THE EMPIRE SLAYER ! 


	2. Buffy the Empire Slayer

Movie Mischeif #2: Buffy the Empire Slayer  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy (though I'd like to own Sarah Michelle Geller) or Star Wars (Lucas can keep it)  
  
  
What 's movie mischeif, you say ? refer to WALKER TEXAS POWER RANGER !  
  
Princess Leia and Han Solo sat at their positions in the Hoth base.  
"Princess," said Han, in a tender, loving voice. "I've always wanted to ask you something."  
"Oh, Han ! Yes I will marry you !"  
"Uh, no, I was gonna ask why you have donuts in your hair."  
Luke walked in to the room with a big frown on his face.  
"What's a matter, fly boy?" said Han.  
"So you think a pretty for a Jedi?" said Luke.  
"Give it to me Luke," said Leia  
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." said Luke handing her a computer layout of the deathstar.  
"What's this?" said Leia, pointing at a green dot.  
"That's Vader's inner sanctum, where he keeps all his secret stuff.  
"Vader gets porno mags?" said Han.  
"What's this?" Leia inquires, pointing at a red dot.  
"That's ketchup, from my lunch."  
"So what's this I hear about Vader being a vampire?"  
"I am already on it." said a familiar face. Buffy in Bounty Hunter Outfit.  
  
In the Inner Sanctum of Darth Vader, he sits atop his throne,  
puffing a breathalizer.  
"Blah-blah-blah, I (inhales) vant to suck your (inhales) b..."  
"Not thanks, Master Vader." said the Capatain.  
"E-hem. (inhales) call me Count Vadula. (inhales)  
"Destroy them (inhales)...the rebels (inhales) now !  
"Not on my watch !" said Buffy, scaring the stuffing out of you with that oh-so-sudden  
jump outta nowhere type attack stuff.  
"Vat, chusay?" said Count Vadula  
"I said, 'Not on my watch !'"  
"No (inhales) Buffy (inhales) I am your...."  
"Nope. Not my father, or my mother, or anything in relation to me. "   
"Accually (inhales) I am your chiropracter 's diatiction 's stepson 's uncle 's  
pet cat 's nephew 's lawyer 's uncle, twice removed."  
"That's scary." she replied. She drew a wooden stake.  
"This may be a long, long time ago, but use a real weapon." said Vader.  
"I don't get that at all." said the captain. "If it's a long time ago, why do we have  
lasers, space ships, lightsabers, and interstellar teleportation gigaflux equailibrium!!!!!"  
Buffy throws the stake and nails the captain in the heart.  
"Good shot." said Vader.  
Buffy drew a lightsaber and went head to head with Vader, er, Vadula.  
Finally, Vader stopped. He became a bat and flew out the window.  
He quickly realized that their is no oxygen in outerspace, and died.  
All of the sudden an evil cackle of a demon-vampire-creature came echoing through the halls.  
"Mesa called Jarjar Binks !" it screamed.  
"But you aren't in The Empire Strikes Back" said Buffy.  
"Sosa-what. Kees me fuzzy brown gungan butt."  
Jarjar's eyes turned red, and wings bursted from his back. He sprouted fangs and   
flew at Buffy. She took her lightsaber and gave him the worst darn enema ever, as if they  
didn't sting like heck at first, with a lightsaber. OUCH !  
Afterwards, Buffy went to Dagobah to find Yoda and learn more of the Jedi way.  
  
THE END  
  
Next Time: What will happen if Terrence and Phillip get shot?  
Will the kids' counciling under the Old Batman help out? It's up to   
Cartman to stop Satan and The Joker from destroying earth in   
the newest thriller, CART-MAN BEYOND ! (na na na na na na na na Cartman) 


End file.
